Emotions are unreliable. They’re like druggies, deadbeat dads, hurricanes. They steal from you. They waltz in looking attractive then leave you in a puddle of your own sweat. Sometimes they seem harmless. You trust them, foolishly. They threaten but rarely deliver. When you least expect it, they hit hard. You can’t trust ’em.
How you feel right now…at this exact moment in time…won’t last. Sucks, eh? You must be enjoying yourself. Glad, right? You’re ready for whatever you’re going through to blow over, aren’t you? In either case, the anxiety, the butterflies, the tears, the exhaustion, the attraction…they’re all fleeting.
I’m writing this to remind myself – actually scream at myself – to just keep going. Amanda, keep going. Fight the urge to cry. Resist the urge to punch someone or something. Remind yourself that you’re just really tired, and it’s not time to quit but only time to rest. The heartache, the feelings of inadequacy, the worry…none of it will last.
I’m writing this as a wake up call – to take myself by the shoulders and shake vigorously – that moments of bliss also have looming expirations. Happiness, contentment, satisfaction, and even love will ebb and flow. Amanda, you can never take breathtaking views, meaningful conversations, a loving touch, or warm cups of coffee for granted. The joy, the feelings of euphoria, the delight…none of it will last.
See…you can’t trust ’em. Wonderful! Crappy feels won’t last. Dang! The good feels won’t last. What a conundrum! It’s mental gymnastics, contortions we are forced into, a mind twist. So I’ll say this to myself…
Amanda, take time to feel what you’re feeling. Recognize you’re feeling some kind of way. Acknowledge it. Pat it on the head. Examine why. Meet it head on. Then, hold tight to your heart, your mind, and your body, because those feels will dissipate…like smoke…in a breeze…into a vapor…eventually invisible.
Amanda, keep some perspective. Ensure you have a support system. Build a strong parachute, so you can sail downward with grace and dignity when the time comes. It will.
Amanda, craft a strong mental album for capturing all the good, and never take one, tiny iota of happiness for granted. You can never experience a certain moment twice.
And, Girl. Don’t let emotions make your back hurt. You carry stress in your shoulders. Your legs are full of knots. And you like to eat when you’re stressed…or sad…or happy…or feeling festive…or celebrating something. Just stop. Take better care of your body. It suffers from your emotions.
Today…I am emotional. Maybe you are, too. Thanks for sorting this out with me. I’m trying my best to remember that my rough stuff is temporary (Thank God!), and so is my great stuff (I will appreciate it more!). Maybe this helps you, too. Let’s ride the wave together and keep reminding each other that emotions are like emails from Nigerian princes, Mexican tap water, and a guy offering candy from a van – you can’t trust ’em.
Amanda Herring, Writer 