Seated on the floor, feet criss-crossed, my lower back a little uncomfortable, palms up, I started to breathe deeply and purposefully. In and out.
The room was quiet. My eyes were closed, but I could detect the flicker of the candle nearby.
My tummy growled, and my neck felt stiff. I noticed a tingling in my ankle and a slight pain in my right knee. My lips felt dry.
I relaxed a little faster than I usually do. My body felt heavier right away, my shoulders dropping, my jaw going slack, my brain quieting.
It was nice. I noticed my own silent contentment at once. It often takes me longer to feel that, and there are times I don’t feel it at all. I was immediately grateful.
With this sense of almost immediate gratitude, the words began to flow. My prayers drifted out like a melody, rolling along up and down like waves. The more I prayed, the more I came up with prayers. I covered everything and everyone, constantly weaving in more gratitude for people, experiences, possibilities, our work, our future, and then…
Before I even realized what I was saying, I thanked God for peace, for contentment.
I opened my eyes.
What?!
For the first time, probably ever, I was thankful for peace. The words rolled right out of me as easily as if I had planned to say them and rehearsed them in advance.
I started to cry.
I have prayed for peace for years. Years. I have worked to shut down this busy, frazzled brain month after month. I have analyzed this traumatic event and that, worked through challenging therapy sessions, hashed out painful emotions, clung to all the goodness I am surrounded by, and committed myself to daily gratitude for years…and suddenly…
“Lord, thank you for peace.”
Is it here? Has it arrived? I think I am getting acquainted with peace! I feel it! It’s my evolution era, and this new sense of peace is no doubt a part of it. I’m putting old things behind me, checking boxes, and closing doors. I’m facing new possibilities, opening my heart to new opportunities, and looking forward. It’s bringing peace!
Too excited to make much more progress, I wrapped up my meditation time with praises to God and several rounds of intentional breathing and silence. I forgot all about my throbbing knee, cricky neck, tingly ankle, and chapped lips. My tummy had stopped grumbling.
I blew out the candle and hurried to bed to tell my hubs the news. He was happy for me. I think we were both asleep mere minutes later. Peacefully.
*sigh*
Do I really feel peace? I guess we will see! I’m over the moon at the thought of it!
Amanda Herring, Writer 