Out of the Mud At Last

Y’all ever stepped in that kind of mud that sucks your foot right up, and you lose your shoe?

You can’t go on. What do you do with your sock foot? How do you get your shoe unstuck and back on without getting completely muddy? You just stand there holding up one foot, trying not to fall over, bobbling and balancing, working to frantically make a decision.

I think that’s where I’ve been. Stuck. Teetering. Unbalanced. Frantically trying to figure out what to do.

How’d that happen? Well, after my show, I felt really bogged down. I had gotten myself in pretty deep, people pleasing, making magic for everyone else, managing all the details, shouldering the burdens, carrying the weight of mental health struggles.  If you’ve been a follower of the blog for very long, you know I’ve been in a funk.

I have been trying my best to get out of the mud, fend off that stuck feeling. I’m not a miserable person at all. In fact, I’m pretty joyful, optimistic, and ambitious. That’s why it’s been so hard.

When you feel like you’re sunk up to your knee right here in this place, stalled and completely immobile…but you can see high ground over there in the distance where you’d otherwise be in motion making your life happen…you feel helpless, discouraged, stifled. That’s been me. I’ve really struggled.

Then yesterday…

I was excited about going to church, but I was a little resistant because a guest pastor was due to speak. I love our actual pastor, and I always look forward to hearing him, so meh…a guest pastor. So I prayed before I left the house that whatever was preached would be a lesson for me.

Y’all.

The wealth, beauty, depth of the gospel is too great, too deep, too rich, to ever be fully realized. It is riches untold!

The gospel is wisdom on display – the glory, plan, and purpose of God unfolding, eternal and evident.  It never evolves, changes, or bends. It is a guide, a truth, we can rely on.

Following the Bible is worthy of our every effort. Stewardship is everything. We are rewarded, and we will be intimately rewarded.

All that is fine and totally true. Then he said….

The energy we put in is worth it.

Now I’m not sure if it was the heartfelt way he said it, his inflection, or what, but that statement hit me in the gut.

He repeated it. He said it louder. He said it again and again slowly and with diction.

It. Is. Worth. It. The energy we put in to following God’s word and putting energy into living according to that word is WORTH IT.

And that’s all I could think about.

God created me. He gave me talent, intelligence, sense, discernment. He gave me His word that is deep and vast and never waivers. He made way for me to have my husband and my children. He gave me strength and courage for fighting battles. He walked right alongside me as I built my dance studio, put in long hours, took crap from people, and made it into something great.

The energy I put into following Him, being grateful to Him, working to cultivate and grow what He gave me…all worth it. The energy I expend…worth it. The people He puts around me…all worth the energy I offer them. There will never be an instance when my desire and effort to seek, carry out, and celebrate all He does for me will not be worth it.

So I feel better. I’m equipped, and I’m ready. I’m ready to BRING the energy. I’m ready to BE the energy. I’m ready to SHARE the energy.

MY energy was spent. I was running on ME fuel. His energy is unlimited. He knows when to give me rest. I need to run on Him fuel.

Lord, thank you for sending that guest pastor. And thank you for speaking through him to reach me. He was right. The energy I put in is so worth it. Now I can’t wait to get started.

I’m out of the mud at last! I can do this. I have His energy, and the world needs it. The world needs me. It’s worth it!

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   Philippians 1:6