I’ve been AWOL. I never thought I would go without posting a TILT, but it’s been over a week without one. I was pretty committed and swore I’d never do it. But I had permission…from myself.
I think sometimes life surrounds us with a hundred little stacks and piles. Stacks and stacks of responsibilities. Piles of emotions. Stacks of to-dos. Piles of expectations. It can get overwhelming.
I felt overwhelmed.
Tasks, work, appointments! The start of my dance season was approaching, and I had loads of work to do. My kids had stuff. (Kids have ALL the stuff, don’t they?!) Keith had his port removed, and we’ve been working out various and sundry follow up appointments and annual tests he needs. The housework still had to be done. Bills still had to be paid. Our taxes are about to be filed. You know. We could all write a book, right?
Mental, spiritual, emotional! I’m also elbow-deep in personal goals that I refuse to let fall to the wayside. I feel like I’m in the midst of this odd, huge transitional period and FINALLY really learning some important life lessons. Good mental health has become wildly important to me, and that takes constant work (because inside my head looks like a tornado most of the time!). And I have been working to devote more time to my Bible, to finding what brings me peace, and seeking clarity when I’m feeling emotional.
So I gave myself permission to go AWOL. I needed to go totally away for a moment, really focus on myself, address my immediate needs, and stay on course with reaching my long-term personal goals.
When I first heard the phrase “give yourself permission”, it was a bit of a revelation for me. Our days off give us “permission” to not go to work. Doctor’s orders give us “permission” to take it easy. A clear schedule on a random Tuesday morning gives us “permission” to work on other things. So the tail wags the dog, right? We wait on life’s circumstances to give us permission to deviate, to delay, to find a moment.
That’s a big, fat “no” for me. The idea of giving yourself permission is not only a cool concept…it’s critical. I really believe that we MUST fashion the life we truly want. I can do anything, but I can’t do everything. I can’t keep allowing myself to get swept along by life’s heavy currents as if I have no ability to swim…or GET OUT OF THE WATER!
So here I am. While I’m not thrilled with having missed posting a TILT every, single day, and I’ve missed my writing outlet terribly, I am at peace with my work flow, with my family, and with my heart because I gave myself permission to stop some things in order to focus completely on others. So I will now return to my regularly-scheduled programming, delightful everyday nonsense, and unsolicited food for thought. I’ve missed you.
And listen…be motivated to give yourself permission to go AWOL. Focus. Devote time. Feed the things that are important in your life. Make your life what you want it to be, and have the discipline to stay the course.
I missed you guys! Glad to be back.
Amanda Herring, Writer 