Even when you don’t feel like it.
I haven’t felt like it.
I haven’t felt like posting.
I haven’t felt like being upbeat.
I haven’t even felt like being sad.
I’ve been in this hibernation state where I just wanted to rest, just wanted to sleep, just wanted to disappear.
At the same time, I’ve just wanted to be seen. I haven’t wanted to be lonely.
I’ve wanted to be touched and talked to and hugged.
I wanted to be where there were fireworks and hamburgers and beaches.
I wanted to be closed up where it was quiet and there was no noise, no popping, no squealing, no explosions.
When I was asleep, I wanted to be awake. When I was awake, I just wanted to be asleep.
This week I’ve been in the biggest mental and emotional conundrum I have ever thought possible: two completely opposed states of being. Pretty sure, it’s a test of trust and faith.
I feel like if I keep posting about such downer things, everyone’s eyes are going to be rolled back so far in their heads they can see their spines. I’ll understand.
But we’re walking through the valley of the shadow right now, My Beautiful People. And I’ve got to keep walking, because next week is going to hold a whole new experience…perhaps redeeming, perhaps challenging. I hope you’ll keep walking with me.
I saw this meme; though, and indeed I’m worthy. I did not come this far to only come this far. I am worthy.
It’s ok to rest.
Waiting won’t kill me.
Worry is the same as putting faith in something I cannot see and that may not even happen.
I can calm myself.
I can be content where I am for a little while longer.
I can boldly step into new circumstances next week and push myself to leave this conundrum behind.
Right now, though, I am worthy even when I don’t feel like it.
And… hey…amidst whatever you’re going through, you’re worthy, too.
I love y’all.
#powerinthepurple
#pray4msa
#graceanddignity