I am an over-preparer.

I’m the one who packs too many outfits for a weekend trip, not to mention two too many pairs of shoes.

At any given outdoor event, I have sunscreen, insect repellent, a battery-powered fan (and extra batteries), and even a clean wet cloth sealed in a zippy bag for washing dirty faces or hands. Oh, and I have bandaids.

At any given indoor event, I have snacks and mints, hand sanitizer, tissue, headache medicine, and noise canceling headphones. I also have a book and bookmark, a phone charger, and water.

I have the tickets, the map, and the itinerary.

I have the rental car key, the door code, and the wifi password.

There is Cream of Tartar in my pantry, just in case. (??)

I’m a setter upper of dominoes, a list maker, a strategist. I am even willing to admit that I put the groceries best bagged together on the conveyor to hopefully help out the kid with the part-time job (and try to keep my bread and tomatoes from getting smushed).

I have never been formally diagnosed, but I’ll bet my extra and judicious preparation of things is a byproduct of OCD. (My daughter HAS been formally diagnosed, and the apple probably doesn’t fall far.) I can tell you with certainty it’s a byproduct of anxiety. Not only do I want to avoid being without, coming up short, or missing anything, I call myself trying to avoid dealing with blunders, mishaps, and catastrophes and the resulting anxiety I don’t like.

Is it exhausting? No. It’s how my brain works. I’m used to it. Is it practical? Of course. We usually have everything we need and more, and we rarely rough it. I take pride in being a Boy Scout, always prepared.

I realized lately that I prepared for The Evolution, perhaps unaware that it was actually a thing that would happen sooner than later. I just did it, thinking it would be wise to start. My gut told me to. I kind of love myself and my quirks right now.

For example, I knew my financial situation would change. I never took much at all from the dance studio, but even the little I paid myself would eventually go away. So about six months ago, I canceled all my subscriptions – Stitch Fix, Netflix, Disney Plus, Winston Box (my hub’s thing), Kindle, all of them.  I knew getting rid of those extra expenses might be a benefit later.

I documented every business process, started saving graphics to a folder, and collected all studio-related operational data in a binder. I cleaned up files and cleaned out cabinets. Everything had what I called a “bus plan”, you know, the backup plan in case I ever got hit by a bus (or retired!).

Also, I knew I wanted to be home more. My house was full of stuff. S-T-U-F-F. So I started paying close attention to how people organized and decluttered (mostly taking cues from the Mistress of Organization herself, my good friend, Mandy). I started with clearing out superfluous cups, Tupperware, and random dishes from kitchen cabinets. I set a goal to fill a trash bag with clothes for drop off at Goodwill at least once a month.  I got rid of old board games, bed sheets, and curtain rods. I started feeling lighter. (Mandy cheered me on.)

Y’all, we wore clothes out of baskets and stepped over piles of dirty laundry until about a month ago. I started washing, folding, and hanging. I figured the task was so monumental that I had better get busy. The whole undertaking took me the better part of two weeks.

I have worked in the yard, set my table (with placemats and linen napkins!), and put out the fancy towels nobody is allowed to use for actually drying their hands. I even replaced the dog bowls with classier ones, as if a dog’s dining vessels could possibly be upgraded to a more pleasing aesthetic.

For the love of Martha Stewart, if I’m coming home to settle in, my home needs to be ready. Cue my over preparedness. I am pleased, and that’s what counts.

Honestly, though, the foresight to prepare could ONLY have come from my gut and, frankly, The Universe. I did not know six months ago that I would find a buyer for my studio and be able to retire. God knew good and well, though, what He had planned for me and somehow planted a little seed in my brain to start getting ready for my homecoming. He is good to me.

More than over-preparedness, I think it’s actually nesting. I’m NESTING, Y’all!

I am deliberately curating my home. I have been too consumed by work to really focus on that. I am creating the space that’s most comfortable, peaceful, and welcoming for my family. For the better part of 12 years, it has been a crash pad. I am readying myself for Trophy Wife & Domestic Goddess status. I will no doubt look amazing one day soon, purple hair and all, rolling out dough in my clean, well-organized kitchen.

Call it over-preparedness, but I even recently bought a rolling pin.

Scout’s honor.

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