What if we bought into the notion that The Universe gives us exactly what we need at all times? It serves us a scoop of whatever we need right when we need it…so we learn.
It’s hard to be thankful for a traffic jam on the way to work that makes us late. It’s hard to appreciate the “gift” that is finding out someone talked poorly about you behind your back. One hardly sends up praises after learning that their child has Tourettes Syndrome.
But what if we did?
I have tremendous faith. Through my husband’s struggle through colon cancer and colon surgery in 2015, my faith was solidified. The only choice I had back then was to grip faith and not let go…and I did. Oddly, I recognized early on in our cancer era that reliance on faith was one of the lessons I had better be learning.
I have less desire to please everyone. I faced plenty of trivial gripes and complaints from parents at my dance studio over the years. With every fit, with every fuss, I learned a little more about patience, grace, and frankly, ambivalence. I stopped trying so hard to please and worked to understand. I let people be. I found value in NOT responding sometimes. I learned that I can always improve, but I also learned that I’m not always responsible or wrong.
The Tourettes reference was not a made to be creative. A couple of years ago, my then 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with it (another story for another time). Simultaneously, she was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, ADD-Inattentive, and a learning disorder called “Dyscalculia.” I learned to listen and to accept that some things have no explanation or immediate solution. I learned patience and courage. I started to understand her (and children, in general) better. I learned that you better meet your kids where they are and drop your ridiculous idyllic expectations.
I truly believe that we will continue to be presented with the same trials over and over again until we learn whatever lesson or heal whatever trauma or get over whatever hurt is necessary. Our bad situations and rough experiences act as…
MIRRORS. They reflect the ugly parts of us that need polishing to make us shinier, better people free from old belief systems, past wounds, and personal hangups.
CHECK POINTS. They stop us in our tracks to teach us something valuable about ourselves that we need for future segments of our journey.
WAKE UP CALLS. They smack us in the face sometimes and turn our attention to nonsensical thoughts, runaway emotions, or ridiculous behavior that we better get a handle on before we wreck ourselves our somebody else.
REMINDERS. They help steer us back to relying on God and not our own understanding. They point us back to asking Him for what we need rather than continually trying to handle things ourselves.
As a side note, “shadow work” is what it’s called when you carefully and deliberately delve into your heart and soul to dig out all that plagues you. “Shadow” makes it sound dark and creepy, but it isn’t woo woo or sketchy or devil-y or New Age. It just means there are dark spots within us that make us feel, think, and act the way we do. We are jaded, conditioned, and bruised up inside. The “shadows” are why we keep being served scoop after scoop of struggles. We can be purposeful about doing inner work and take a proactive approach toward cleaning out the junk in us, or we can take hard knocks until we learn the hard way. Life is flexible like that.
Once again, self-awareness is everything! If we can stop trying to avoid struggles, stop being victims, stop complaining about our circumstances, and start noticing…just start examining…what’s actually going on inside us when we run up on a challenge, we might can fix an ick in ourselves, come out better, and never have to face that particular mess again. Boom. Learned. Done.
So I just asked myself…Why, Amanda, do you write about this stuff? Does anyone really care?
And then I’m like…Girl, you never know who is listening and learning. Maybe someone will be inspired to stop repeating patterns and start questioning themselves.
Then I say… Maybe you’re right. Otherwise, Sister, enjoy the therapy you receive from writing and the writing practice.
To that I’m all… Are you being self indulgent? You got to be pretty interesting for anybody to care.
So I say…You know, there is value in helping others feel like they aren’t alone. We “normal” chicks can relate to each other. You’ll find your voice and your niche one day.
And finally I say…Thanks, Friend.
Because The Universe will bring me whatever I need to help me grow, and I am learning.