I often pray that I be used as a vessel.  I think of that as my words, my actions, my energy being guided for good, a kind of conduit for goodness, light, strength, empathy…all the things. I pray that my dance studio be used as a vessel, too, and that whatever needs to be and should be poured from the studio will flow.  I want it to be the source of a spring with many tributaries branching off from it, to children, families, the community.

Today, though, I learned that a “vessel” is one thing, but an “instrument” is another. Should I be praying that I’m instead used as an instrument? That the studio be used as an instrument? I think I’ve had this all wrong.

An instrument DOES. It is capable of action. As an instrument, we can busy about doing what God calls us to do. Think of an instrument like a spoon, a utensil.

A vessel is FILLED. It holds something. As a vessel, we can be filled with the spirit. Think of a vessel like a bowl, a container.

The actual goal for my original prayer was to offer myself up as a doer. Tell me what to do. Show me what to do. Inspire and motivate me in the ways I should do whatever is necessary to share joy and light. I should have been praying I’d be used as an instrument.

But I do want to be filled, too. Fill me with the fruits of the spirit. Help me shine from within. Before anything else, pour wisdom and peace into me.

So I guess I want to be both a vessel AND an instrument…and Y’all…

I abruptly lost a valuable teacher at my studio last week, which immediately called for my stepping in to teach all littles’ classes immediately. You ever doubt that God hears your prayers? He heard mine, and right away, I was given the opportunity to be both an instrument and a vessel (which is a milder way of saying I was THRUST into the position of being both literally overnight).

God knew exactly what I meant even though I got the words all wrong.

It felt like a calling. Whatever MY plans had been to be just a vessel were instantaneously replaced with God’s plans to not only fill me but use me.

Oh, but I wasn’t exactly prepared. I needed time! After a day or two, my body hurt. I needed all the hot baths! My mind was garbled, as I had SO MUCH work to do already. I needed direction!

And in His fashion (why am I always surprised?!), God pointed out to me this morning the difference between a vessel and an instrument. THEN, I realized this morning all the other meaningful, little gems that have been placed before me over the past week were meant to prepare me…

Last Sunday…Ephesians 3:20

God is capable of more than we can ever think or imagine. So, Amanda…set your sights higher. Your dreams are small. He’s got BIGGER plans for you.

When I had to explain the “bad news”…Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but only what is helpful in building others up.

When I got scared…Psalm 18:6

In my distress, I called to the Lord. I cried to my God for help… my cry came before him into his ears.

When I started to worry…Psalm 3:9

Then you will go your way in safety… for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.

When I felt disappointed that the plans I had in place weren’t working out… Jeremiah 29:14

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Y’all, I didn’t go looking for any of this. It came to me. It landed in my hands. I opened right to it. Someone said it to me. All along, God was setting up the dominoes to fall exactly as planned, exactly as they were supposed to, exactly how they had to for me to be used HIS way as both an instrument and a vessel.

(I imagine him giggling a little as I had been so boldly marching forward with my own plans lately. Ha!)

So here I am, back in 18 classes per week, classes that require the most patience, the most heart, the most strength, and the most resilience. I am in front of at least 250 children each week and held accountable by all their parents sitting right outside the door. My mind and emotions are going in 50 different directions, I have to now run a growing business AND teach, I must find and execute extraordinary creativity, and my 48-year-old body needs to perform.

How’s that for praying to be a vessel?

Here’s what I know…I AM BEING USED… and for that, I am beyond grateful. I’m even more thankful that God picks ME to carry out whatever work, to bring whatever joy, to change the world in whatever way, that is His divine plan. How cool is that?!

He will make a way. He will make that crookedy path straight. He will bring to fruition all that He puts into creation. He will light the path. He will provide all my needs. In these many ways, I have always been a vessel, having had all this already poured into me so that I can be used.

Y’all pray about how you can be filled AND used. Keep your eyes, your ears, and especially your heart open. Get rid of all the crummy people and things that keep you from seeing, hearing, and being open. Dream bigger, set unreasonable goals, and show up ready to be guided toward greatness.

And hear this… if you think you’re not good enough, know that I’m not good enough. I’m weak and scared and insecure all the time. If think this is a bunch of crap, know that I’m not preaching to you. You can think or believe whatever you want without judgment from me. Just know that I’m experiencing it, feeling it, living it all. I’m proof that you can suck, make mistakes, do stupid things, get the words wrong, and still be filled AND used. I got you anytime you want to talk about it.

Dare to pray you’ll be used…and filled!

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