Welp…what have we here? Could it be a post from someone inclined to write, who used to write quit a bit, who just up and quit with no notice? Why, yes…yes, it is. *SIGH*

I have gotten a few messages recently from a couple of folks wondering where I’ve been. It’s so nice to be thought of and actually missed. Where I’ve been? Pissy. I guess I’ve been pissy.

Not very congenial or becoming, right? Makes me seem like I’ve had my butt all up over my shoulders, pursed face and eyebrows in a “V” looking like I just licked a lemon. I know. Pissy isn’t pretty.

A few of my last posts have popped up as “memories”. I loved reading them. They reminded me that I WAS truly pissy a year or so ago when I was writing regularly. I had put up with a lot in my line of work and was trying to find my way toward an attitude adjustment. I was chasing peace, too. My brain worked overtime, the chatter remained constant, and peace was elusive.

I wrote about personal trials, spilled out random thoughts, and keyed some occasional funnies, travel experiences, and around-the-house events. And I remember getting flustered.

I liked writing, but I didn’t think anybody cared about that mess. A handful of people were reading it, and an even fewer were hitting the LIKE button. I wasn’t sure how relatable I was, I questioned whether I was really even that funny, and I doubted the worth of the whole effort. Hmmph. So I put it down.

I put down the blog posts and maintaining the website. I put down the Instagram. I stopped thinking about writing topics interesting enough to pursue. I quit taking pictures of food and travels. I said ugly things to myself.

“Nobody reads what I write.”

“The page isn’t growing.”

“Nobody cares.”

“You’re being judged silently.”

“Why would you think you could become something?”

“Why are you writing anyway? To become something?”

That was the tape playing in my head (I know, a tape…how 80’s!). My brain replayed those things over and over. The posts got fewer and farther between. I let it go, lemon-faced, pissy.

So here we are, almost a year later. Is this when I tell you about the “new me” I found, the “epiphany” I had, the “comeback” story? Not necessarily.

This is just when I hop back in, because I want to. And I want to, because I miss it. I miss it, because it never leaves my mind and my heart. It never leaves my mind and my heart, because I love reading, and to consider even the possibility that I might write something meaningful and worthy of reading read thrills my soul.

Yes, I want to…and I hope you’ll humor me as I rekindle that desire. There is somewhat of a “new me” which has been a HUGE work in progress since I last wrote. I have had many an “epiphany” in the last year. I love a good “comeback” story like the next gal. But I don’t even want to tackle any of that yet.

I just want to casually walk back into the proverbial room that is my blog, run my finger across the velvety back of the sofa, take in the light coming through the window, and smell the familiar scent of experiences, memories, and emotions that have lingered here since I left. I want to hang out for a while and see if I might want to move back in.

Don’t worry…I’m not pissy anymore. Thanks for letting me in.

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