Y’all, I feel like I’m walking through that valley of the shadow. The good news is I know God is with me. The bad news is that my humanness sure pushes fear to the forefront and tries to crowd out my faith.
I won’t let it, of course. I’m all faith all the time for sure. But this season of life right now…this right here…ain’t no joke.
My therapist told me once that some people have a remarkable ability to manage a lot of stress, tasks, and obligations, and that I must be one of them…not that it’s a thing to be celebrated, but a thing to recognize. I’ve developed that ability. I’ve been like an ox that keeps pulling and trudging along.
But I don’t think I’m an ox anymore. I’m like that Green Mile guy. I’m tired, Boss. Tired.
Now…this is a lot of *sigh* and of lot of *pout*. I know. And you’re here to listen, I assume, so I write to share and for my own therapy.
I also hope to encourage through my own struggles, because this is also a SEASON, which I know will pass. I feel the shift that’s happening right now. I feel my yoke getting heavy, which means it’s probably about to come off, at which time I will become something new. I just don’t know what’s next.
(Dear Lord, please make me a dolphin. Please. ha ha!)
And finally, I said it to let anybody else feeling similarly know that I see you and feel it, too. It’s NOT nice, but we will get to the other side with faith. Please have faith. If your faith wanes, message me, and we will build each other back up. Comment, and I’ll help prop you up.
I encourage you to rest, too. I stop and rest every chance I get. I just got up from this computer and sat in a comfortable chair with a Nothing Bundt Cake (lemon, and it was so good) for a few minutes. It was divine.
Now time to get back in the trenches, trudging down the rows like an ox. Keep pushing. Keep working that soil. Keep planting seeds. Keep creating those rows. Designing the life you want ain’t easy and is wrought with challenges (clearly!), but we will get there. Prayers for us going through it right now until until we are yoke-free.