Y’all, it’s been a minute. It’s hard to maintain a blog when you’ve had the Covid, the flu, and the Covid pneumonia. Yeah, I decided to do that all at the same time about two weeks ago. It’s hard when you’ve been working like mad. Right now, I’m in full show mode at the dance studio. While I was sick and my hubs was taking care of us (like crazy amazing!), my house maintenance got behind. Yes, the laundry is piled to Jesus if not all mixed up in a clothes basket. And, Lawd Hammercy, mental health issues are plaguing us heavy at our house. We’ve been doing well just to maintain.
I’m coping the best I can and just trying to give myself permission to rest, take small steps to move forward, and let some things go. Do y’all have those moments?
Oh, and I’m a bit of a loose cannon.
See, we all have stuff going on inside our homes that nobody knows about. We’re dealing with life, and it’s hard. Real hard. We don’t talk about it too much, because who wants to be Negative Nancy? Plus, sometimes it’s hard to actually say out loud what’s going on…it just sounds unsavory. Eating disorder. Suicidal thoughts. Marital problems. Overextended finances. Bad grades. None of that rolls off the tongue, and you know, it’s hard to hear, too. We don’t tell things sometimes, because people won’t understand, our families will worry, we fear we will be labeled, or it will elicit a thousand questions we just don’t have it in us to answer (or don’t have the answers!).
The “loose cannon” part comes in, because I think I’m mad. I’m bitter that the world has Covid to deal with (that’s another conversation). I’m angry, because people can be so judgey and opinionated about others yet they don’t give a minute’s thought to what someone else might be going through in life. I’m mad when I hear people complaining about trivial things, while I (and plenty of others) are freaking struggling like hell with big, major issues. Uggghh. I feel like I could snap. Tell me y’all get that way.
I’ll tell you what, though…I’m also a warrior. I have taken some hard knocks, learned a lot, and I’ve got the Power of God. I’ve heard it all and seen some crap. I’m a fighter, a taker of absolutely zero mess, and a solver of problems. It is more like me to rally and morph into a viking than it is to curl up and cry. And oh, glory…God is standing right in front of me providing a shield, moving the mountains, and giving me hope. Sometimes faith is all we have, and most days that’s how I feel lately…but I’m so grateful for it.
Geez, this is becoming a bit of ramble. I have a TON to talk about, lots of new perspectives, and plenty to share. Making time for myself to do it…well, that’s another challenge. Do me a favor, and remember that everyone is struggling. Give grace. Don’t share your opinion. Don’t evaluate. Drink water, and mind your business.
I think I’m ready to play catch up…and I sure need the outlet. Here’s a start.
Amanda Herring, Writer 