You can’t write this stuff, Y’all. Our cat had a seizure last night, and in my trying to make sure he wasn’t choking on something, he chomped my finger.
I might die. It’s swelling and red and painful. It’s been nice knowing you all. Make up a better story to spread around town besides “she died from a cat bite”, please. I need something more sparkly yet badass… with a hint of intrigue and drama. Bury me in leggings and a sweater, and don’t forget my earrings. Please play good music and dance, but cry a lot.