“My name is Wes. I ain’t in this mess.”
Keith and I heard somebody say this a few years ago (I think on TV), and it stuck. We’ve used it occasionally since then, mostly in jest, but lately, it’s become sort of a mantra. And I’m here for it.
If 2021 was “my year” for self awareness, discovery, and improvement, then 2022 shall be “my year” for application of all that I learned. (Lord knows what else, too, because each year brings me new challenges, plenty of lessons, and lots of opportunities to grow.) The biggest lesson I plan to apply? My name is Wes.
My name is Wes. That’s a statement, not a question. I am me. Amanda. I’m not anybody else. I’m not somebody folks can talk to any old way. I am firm in who I am, firm in my convictions, and firm in my values. I can’t be kicked around, made to feel guilty, or low balled. I know what I got.
I ain’t in this mess. I’m too busy over here worrying about all this (*points from head to toe*) to be worried about any of that over there (*points in a full circle at you, you, you, him, her, and them all the way around). Other people’s business is theirs to handle. They are free to react however they might. They can respond in any manner they so choose. They can take whatever action they deem necessary. I can’t control other folks. I can’t expect to influence their actions. I can’t even help them unless they specifically ask for (and are willing to receive) my help. And really…their responses, actions, and reactions are not my responsibility.
My name is Wes. I ain’t in this mess. I will replay this over and over again in my head when faced with people pleasing, for I am reformed. I don’t have to bear the burden of trying to make other people happy. I don’t have to care what other people think. I don’t have to carry the fallout of other people’s decisions. I don’t have to answer to anyone but this precious man I’m married to and these two kids I’m trying hella hard to raise right. It’s liberating!
So…Chronic People Pleasers…repeat after me. “My name is Wes. I’m not in this mess.” Join me in doing the best we can do all day long every day. Join me in making decisions, smashing goals, and living life according to our value systems, principles, and moral compasses pointed in the right direction. Join me in treating people with love, respect, and compassion. Let’s seek forgiveness when we get it wrong and extend grace when someone else gets it wrong. Every night of 2022, let’s go to bed having done the best we could all day long, and for everything else…My name is Wes. I’m not in this mess.
Amanda Herring, Writer 