She’s hot. Don’t be ridiculous, and tell her.

Ok, so this might sting. I only apologize in advance just a little, because I don’t really want to hurt anybody’s feelings, but it needs to be said. Sister, if you can’t recognize, acknowledge, and appreciate that another woman is pretty, you need a little self reflection. And to take it a step further, you should be able to tell her. Otherwise, you’re kind of being maybe a little bit ridiculous. Here’s why…

We have insecurities. All of us. We worry about our bellies and our butts. We make a face in the mirror at our thighs and wonder how we can make our boobs look better. We agonize over our hair and our complexion. We change clothes six times before we settle on an outfit and leave the house. You know we do. All of us. And don’t even start about that damn scale.

This is why you need to lighten up and knock it off with the insecurity keeping you from being able to notice and tell another woman she’s pretty. EVERY one of us is insecure about our physical appearance in some way. Even the cute, young chicks have hang ups. Our moms have hang ups. The mom at the beach wrangling three kids who can actually wear the tiny, black bikini has hang ups. We NEED to hear that we are beautiful, especially from other women.

I happen to be a person who is not the jealous type, thank God. Y’all, my husband looks. He loves women, and I knew that when I married the man, so being jealous would just make me miserable and drive me to drink more than I already do. Then to make matters perhaps “worse”, he really likes chicks who are blonde and 5’4″ tall with big boobs. I will never be that. He scored 1 out of 3 with me. I’m tall and brunette. (Sorry about your bad luck, Bud.) I’m not jealous when he notices those women, and sometimes I even point them out to him, but I won’t tell you, though, that I never have pangs of envy. I wish I was skinnier than I am. I wish I could tan like her. I wish my {insert body part here} looked like hers. But there she is, all skinnier, tan, with the sexy {body part}…and I promise you she’s insecure about herself in some way just like the rest of us.

So here’s what we are going to do…we are going to start noticing the women around us, finding the beautiful in all of them, and telling them about it (out loud!). Tell her that red hair is gorgeous. Tell her she looks great in that dress. Tell her she is such a natural beauty. Tell her how her blue eyes shine when she wears that shirt. Tell her she is glowing when you see her new baby in the cart. Notice. Find. Tell.

Here’s what else we’re going to do…we are going to be a little less critical of ourselves, get off his ass for noticing the woman walking by, and get busy doing a few extra things to make ourselves feel beautiful. Get the eyelashes. Buy the sweater that feels good against your skin. Wear expensive perfume. Break out the good jewelry you only wear to fancy dinners (When was the last time you went to a damn fancy dinner?). Try the new skincare regimen you read about. Get on the treadmill. Put on underwear and a bra that actually match.

If we make ourselves feel better (and feel prettier!), we might start feeling a little better about ourselves. And if we build each other up without our own insecurities getting in the way, we might help other women feel better about themselves, too.

So she’s hot. Don’t be ridiculous, and tell her. I promise she needs to hear it. Be friends with her. Appreciate her. And let’s work on ourselves. Confront that insecurity, so you can stand next to that pretty lady without feeling intimidated or less-than. You are beautiful, too. You are. You need to hear it.

Published by Amanda Herring, Writer

Practical wisdom, joys and pains, motivation and tough love, from the perspective of a Mississippi mom, traveler, business owner, goal crusher, substance seeker, and full-time dreamer

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