I read a post yesterday that talked about how there appears to be a big push to be kind, mostly because it is becoming more difficult to be. I agree with this, but I am compelled to explore what exactly is making it difficult?

I think we are.

There is indeed a push to be kind. You see memes and motivational quotes and entire Instagram accounts dedicated to spreading kindness. There are organizations and non-profits out there whose sole platform is “BE KIND”. Practically everywhere you look, there is some reminder to treat others kindly since you don’t know what they are going through, how “nice” and “kind” are two different things, why kindness matters in this increasingly nasty world.

Let me tell you where I see a problem with the kindness push…it has limits, and it shouldn’t. It’s us.

Kindness seems to be limited to those people who have earned it against our rigorous standards for living and self-aggrandized moral compass. We have decided that we know how to act and how to be, and if people are on board with that, then we are kind to them. I’ll give you an example, one that plagues me personally right now the most…

“If you’re not voting for Kamala Harris, go ahead and remove yourself from my account.”

“If you’re not for Trump, please unfriend me.”

Is that what you really mean? I guess that kind of request isn’t necessarily “unkind”, but it sure prohibits kindness. I mean, it kind of slaps it in the face. What would Jesus do, right…unless they’re voting Democrat.

Y’all, kindness is universal. It knows no bounds. It does not discriminate, at least it shouldn’t.

I’m tired of seeing kindness memes posted by well-meaning friends but then see their comments about how flabbergasting it is that “people out there who appear to be educated and good can vote for Trump”. I’m over seeing Trump people call folks idiots in one comment, then post a lovely motivational quote atop a sunset photo in the next. That is sanctimonious…and UNKIND.

Kindness, in my never-so-humble approximation, is knowing when to keep your mouth shut. It’s withholding your judgement and your opinion. It’s thinking but not saying. It does not call names or insult.

Kindness is seeking first to understand, asking questions, learning. It’s wondering, digging a little deeper, putting yourself in another’s shoes.

Kindness is knowing what you don’t know and; therefore, trying hard to learn rather than bloviate. It’s listening and trying to actually hear. It’s respectful and gracious.

Should I really remove myself from your account? Should we really stop being friends? Is that what you want? I can walk away. I sure can. I can honor your request and fade away. I can take my life experience, my wisdom, my culture, my perspectives…I can take it all and go. Is that kindness?

The way I see it, kindness is inviting people of all sorts into my home and eating together. It’s laughing. It’s sharing our memories and marveling at whatever culture surrounded us since we came into this world. It’s noting the differences between us and holding space for those. It’s disagreeing but pulling bits and pieces from your argument and mine to come up with a common ground we can both stand on together all while trying our best to take the rest in stride.

I didn’t ask to be born in Arkansas. I didn’t ask to go public school. I didn’t ask to grow up on a gravel road across from a wheat field they burned off every season. I didn’t ask to be influenced by the people I ran into throughout my life. I didn’t put in any pre-arrival requests for any of these Earthly things that have shaped me into the person I am. We just are, all of us. Life happened. We made choices. Some of our choices made us. Most circumstances we didn’t choose at all. We are on a giant rock careening through space for only about 85-100 years, and none of us know how to do it. We are supposed to be using every bit of our time on this spinning rock learning, improving, getting ourselves closer to The Creator of All That Is. So why can’t we be kind?

How many beautiful, precious souls would I lose if I removed myself or asked you to remove yourself from my social media and my life because we didn’t vote for the same candidate or agree on every issue? How many perspectives? How many cultures? How many shining eyes and bright smiles? How many children and families and Christmases and Holy Communions and line dances and fried foods and home brews and spiritual practices?

Should you remain silent and smile a lot? Of course, not. Say your piece. Stand up for your principles. Protect your rights. Vote your vote. But in the name of love….LOVE…the only thing we have left after it’s all stripped away…be kind. Stop the ridiculous “unfriend me” threats unless it’s SUPER necessary.

For instance, we can’t be friends of any kind if you support sexual activity involving children. I will never be able to find common ground with anyone who supports the gross exploitation of women, champions the enslavement of any people, supports the persecution of another religion, wishes the suffering or death upon any person based on race, harms the handicapped. Unfriend me, totally. Your brain, and truly your heart, are not what I thought they were, nor do I want to be held within either, be it on social media or otherwise. Some things should be held in reverence and protected, and anything opposite that should be held up for public scrutiny, evaluation, and shame. I said what I said.

But, Y’all…everything can not be squeezed into one of those categories to justify your position. While the world speaks in extremes and hyperbole rules, we can do better. We can work harder to keep ourselves together and unite to form something bigger, like threads woven tightly into a giant, colorful tapestry.

Keep in mind that God loves the guy wearing the MAGA hat just like he loves you. He created your liberal friend in His image, just like He did you. The way He loves the dirty homeless guy, the gun-wielding thug, the abortionist, the venture capitalist, the Bible thumper, the transgender…is the same way He loves you. Do you have to agree with and support it all? No. But should you be kind and keep your head about you? Yes.

What is kindness to you? Are your posts contradictory, your words hypocritical? Do you speak with a forthright clarity but seek first to understand? Is your light shining? Is your heart and mind open to other perspectives and new ideas? When you stand up for your own values, do you do it with compassion? Does your love for others have limits or conditions? I think those are all thoughts worth chasing.

I just ask you, I ask everyone, all of us…can we be kind today? Can we hush our mouths and open our hearts? Can we screw up sometimes, but catch ourselves and work to do better? Can we turn off the TV, scroll less, and invite people into our homes more? I can promise you that all that worldly stuff constantly berating our eyeballs and ears are designed to divide us, to keep us in an uproar, to generate negative energy between us. We would all do better to unfollow those accounts, quit watching the “news”, and un-LIKE politicos and celebrities.

Love is the antidote. Kindness is the vessel. Regular people like us are the facilitators.

I will go ahead and remove myself from your account because I am not voting for your candidate if that’s what you’d like. You requested it, after all. Keep in mind, though, that your world will fast become a one-sided quagmire of thought, and you’ll be losing somebody who genuinely cared about you, who wanted to share life with you, who was willing to generously and eagerly support you, and who appreciated your uniqueness. Despite our differences, I enjoyed being your friend. I wanted to give of myself and be kind to you…but ok.

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