Ready to do some soul searching? I offered “Five Reasons You Need To Take Time For Yourself Now” in a previous post. Here’s Part 2, how you make the effort…
First and most important…give yourself permission to take the time. Sister, I know you don’t likely give yourself permission to do much of anything, because you’re too busy justifying why your self needs to be busy doing things for other people. Stop it right now. Give yourself permission to attend to YOU.
Second and the next priority…forget how anybody else feels about you’re taking this time. You’ll likely hear all the things (I haven’t heard from you. Are you ok? Will you not be there tonight? Can you not do so-and-so? You didn’t respond to my email I sent last night at 10:00 pm.). Forget the things. Let your pals, your work buddies, your boss, your customers…heck, even your hubs or your mother…just be. They can say whatever they want. You need this time, regardless of how anybody else feels about it.
Third and not to be forgotten…shut it all down. Don’t look at emails and listen to voicemail messages. Put your phone right back down when you think about perusing Facebook. Get your kids in a holding pattern. Stock some groceries, and make sure your bills are paid for the month. Wash some underwear. Then let go. If it’s not a number you know, or the number of someone who MUST reach you this instant, do not answer that phone. If you don’t have to go to the thing, do not go. If someone else can handle it (even if they suck), let them. Shut. It. Down. Find your own quiet place of comfort, and make your nest.
Lastly and worthy of keeping top of mind…watch what happens. You will be absolutely shocked to find that the world keeps turning. People figure things out. Crap falls to the wayside. Stuff doesn’t matter as much. The more you commit to giving yourself permission, forgetting about what other people think of you, and shutting it all down – then actually putting all that into practice – the more you’ll see it really works. It is LEGIT, and when you see it for yourself, you get better at it…and you can let go EVEN MORE.
Now I’ll add that I’m fortunate enough to work a seasonal job that affords me the opportunity to step away briefly. With that in mind, there’s a trade off for me in that by stepping away, I have no income. I still have to write payroll checks, and I still have to put in some work effort despite the choice to close and not get paid. That takes good management and the ability to overcome fear. It ain’t easy. I’m not over here being fed grapes and fanned with a palm frond. If you work a full-time job (or even a part-time one), or you’re surrounded by children in your care, none of this will be easy, but it can still be done.
Do your minimum at work. Be on time, be kind, work as best you can, go home. Take on no new projects, do nobody else’s work, ask for help with what’s already on your plate if you can. Stop the extracurriculars, or severely limit them. You DO NOT have to be at a ball field, in a dance studio, at a piano lesson, or at gymnastics gym every, single day. You don’t. And it wouldn’t hurt your kids to sit on the couch and eat chips a little, too, which is another conversation for another time. You DO NOT have to go to the lake this weekend. You DO NOT have to go shopping. You DO NOT have to have friends over. Scale it all back, so you get your time. If it can’t happen right away, start doing what you need to do to make it happen soon. You need this…like…it MUST happen…so MAKE it happen.
You can do this. The alternative is falling apart, a breakdown. Figure out how you can take time for yourself, and take it.
Next…when you figure out how to take the time, how do you spend it? Let’s cover that in Part 3. Oh, and taking flack for taking care of yourself. Oh, yeah, let’s go there in Part 4. Watch for both.
Amanda Herring, Writer 