Things I learned today…
I see pictures of myself and want to vomit sometimes. I hate insecurity, and I especially hate insecurity in myself. It’s sad and pathetic and dumb.
Y’all, I work in front of mirrors that span an entire wall every day. Vomit.
How is it that one can feel all sassy one minute and feel like freaking Shrek the next? It’s me today. I’m Shrek. Not even Fiona. Shrek.
In other news, it’s a beautiful day, and I love it. I don’t mean to wish my life away, but I count the minutes until I’m back home and able to sit outside at night. It’s glorious.
On the up side, I’m pretty smart. I’ll hang on to that. *shrugs*
Insecurity gets in my way when it rears it’s “ugly” head. I don’t have time for that mess. It’s hard to be fabulous and leave the house to go change the world when I’m feeling down on myself. I’ll be glad when this BS passes.
What is it about us that makes us feel insecure, particularly about how we look? We have to believe it ourselves, right? That we are beautiful, have good skin, pretty hair, and that we’re a presence when we walk in a room. Outside validation is nice, but it should not be necessary. So what is it, I wonder quietly to myself, that makes insecurity come in waves? That damn picture I saw reminded me. And that video I made doing a tap step for the kids. Bah. Got me all in a tizzy.
I have beautiful friends, though. I so enjoy seeing Snaps and posts of my friends smiling and beaming with joy. I should probably tell them more. Do you appreciate when people tell you you’re beautiful?
My to-do list is a mile long, and fortunately, all my tasks are opportunities to be creative. That’s fun…and pressure. It’s difficult to will yourself to be creative and put out something amazing.
That’s all. We learn every day, don’t we?
Amanda Herring, Writer 